WEDNESDAY #2215

Oh, Gentle Readers, I have the most wonderful news...news that has left me completely, totally euphoric. My first grandchild is now growing healthily in my daughter's womb. I just got the news and am so emotional I couldn't even talk on the phone with her. Words cannot adequately express my joy...it's been an hour and I still can't talk. I can barely see these words on the screen through my tears. 
I have often said that I have been a grandfather in training all my life. There have been so many things I have learned and learned how to do that I knew I would teach my grandchild, and now I can see that dream fulfilled. 
If you have grandchildren, join with me in my joy by giving them a special hug. Tell them how special they are to you. And teach them something special...that special thing that only a grandparent can teach. If you don't have grandchildren (yet), trust me, the news is like everything good in life happening to just you...all at once...and it is overpowering.
Thanks for sharing my joy, and please, smile at least once today thinking about me and this most wonderful news.

Why has no one invented a toy that only works when kids are whispering?

I dreamed I went to jail for doing something so fucked up that the prison guards wouldn’t make eye contact with me.

Even after all these years I can still fit in the orange jumpsuit they gave me in juvy.

While the Blackbird SR-71 was the fastest manned airplane ever created, the fastest manned aircraft title goes to the North American X-15, a rocket plane that flew for the first time on June 8, 1959 released from the NASA NB-52B On October 1967 it pulverized all records: 4,520 miles per hour

Anybody know anything about this?

Just don't say you weren't forewarned.

In the search window of Pornhub, no one has ever typed “Personality.”

Interesting sign...

In Hong Kong the shop owners in the area pleaded with protesters to stop so they could make a living.

Think of any other time in human history and imagine them posting signs like, "This castle is weapons free", or "This farmer doesn't own a gun." Kind of absurd isn't it.

WWI Christmas Truce....

I heard an interview with an old guy who said he knew that his enemy was just as miserable as he was and that neither one of them wanted to be there.

A WWII American G.I. tends to the wounds of a young German soldier...

My favorite part about the NFL is watching millionaires beat the crap out of each other.

Henri Matisse: The Cut-Outs

ENGLAND AS ALL BUT ELIMINATED RABIES

Here is one approach that drew some fire:

The requirement for muzzling dogs extended to tiny, tame lapdogs, but not to “sporting” dogs, those used for hunting — because the men writing the laws didn’t want to muzzle their own dogs. (Their dogs were upper class, manly dogs, how could they be rabid?)

Photography...

Drunk birds slur their songs

Researchers from the Oregon Health and Science University got zebra finches drunk to see how the booze affected their singing in an effort to gain insight into human speech.

Something I didn't know...

Stonehenge's gardener mowing the grass, 1955

 I bet that looked good on his resume.

 This lady is making food...somehow...

I was just informed that the shoes I ordered are still on the boat in Miami because of a strike by the longshoremen. Sure, they get a 30 minute break for every hour or some such shit, and I don't get my shoes. What's up with that?

Whoever missed the opportunity to call this the Boo-Boo Bus blew it...

This is what a 600 ton hydraulic press does to $1.36 in change (gold dollar/quarter/penny/dime).

I would so buy one of those.

What a great gift...

 Here's some close-ups I hope you can read more clearly...

I’ve found that no matter what mode of transportation you are on, smiling creepily and patting the seat next to you is the best method to insure you sit by yourself.

There is not such thing as always.

 You're welcome.

One Of My Very Own...

World's largest family: 1 man, 39 wives, 94 kids, 33 grandkids...

 Juxtaposition...

Female fighters of the Kurdish People's Protection Units (YPG) stand near the border between Syria and Iraq, close to the Iraqi town of Snoun 

 Look at that mound stretching off to the horizon.

Make something that didn’t exist before you made it.

Never do the same mistake twice unless she has big tits.

Why, exactly, isn’t tooth decay not ravishing the zombies?

 I have been known to pretend to eat my dog's food at the table, then giving it to him.

 This is a really big chain...

 Note the size of the man's hand washing it at the end...

There is a statue of Woody Harrelson in Budapest.

There is an old worn out joke about the government saying "We're here to help you." The reason that it's even moderately funny is that everyone knows the fear they feel when a "government man" shows up.
But when the government tells you that it's for your own good that they spy on us citizens, everybody just accepts it.

Well, I for one, do not accept it.