THURSDAY #3682

One Of My Very Own

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EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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TRUE STORIES FROM YOUR HOST

When you get to be 72 years old, there are many things that remind you of things that happened in your life. These are examples.

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The caption read:

 "When I was 2 years old, I had to have a penny surgically removed from my esophagus because my dumb ass swallowed it. You can see my mom holding my hand in the X-Ray."

When the art class was over and we had a few minutes left, I would sometimes entertain the children with silly magic tricks. I was very careful to also show them how the trick was done. Once I faked eating a piece of chalk and then showed them how I had actually kept it in my palm the whole time. Well, one morning a child came to class with an x-ray very similar to the one above, telling me he tried to do my trick with a penny.

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When I heard or read the word "precocious" I always think of my oldest child. I used to tell them a made-up story at bedtime, and once I realized that the story was getting rather intense, so I ended it with the main character waking up and realizing it was all a dream. After that when a story even suggested it was intense, my daughter would look very serious, point her finger at my face and say "This better not be a dream." Tough crowd.

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As one would expect, I spend a lot of time on the internet. For that reason alone, I may get a punchline that you normal people do not. Here is an example:

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My crew and I were once in a small town painting a mural and we were starving. Unbeknownst to us, everything closed on Sunday...everything but one restaurant in a motel, and it had a sign advertising a seafood buffet from 5 until 8 and it was 15 minutes until 8 when we walked in. Needless to say, they weren't pleased, so I tipped the waitress $20 upfront and sent another $20 to the kitchen. We ate like kings.

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My brother has a combover almost that bad.

When he's speeding across the lake on his bass boat it stands straight up about 18" and is hilarious.

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It was stated that these are somewhat like visual puns. 

For example?

 Is...

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Here's another that stumps me.

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 I don't get it.

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I am so happy that otherwise normal happy people want nothing more than to beat me with sticks because of their jealousy.

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 INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS

There is a move afoot to upvote this picture of Erdogan so it's the number one result when you Google images of Erdogan. He demanded that it be removed from the internet.

 I do just that at every opportunity.

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Danish Government plans to create artificial Islands off the coast of Copenhagen.

They are trying to create their own Silicon Valley...only, I guess, it will be Silicon Island.

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That was the prudent thing to do.

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Dead Nazi soldiers after the battle of Stalingrad, 1943.

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Hiroshima bomb created shadow, 1945.

In my opinion that is one of the most powerful photographs ever taken.

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A huge international corporation lying to the world to enhance its bottom line.

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If she eats her French Fries with a fork, she's not going to want to do that thing you like so much.

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 FUN WIF LANGUAGE

Quote by Michelle Phillips who was a singer in The Mamas & the Papas.

 "These are not the drugs you're looking for."

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There may be hope for the future.

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Adulting is finally understanding why your mom got so upset when you didn't take the chicken out of the freezer.

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 OBJECTS OF INTEREST

Used to be able to buy a house in a Sears catalog.

Came with every nail, screw, hinge, etc, that you would need. And there were probably local contractors who knew how to put it all together.

You also used to be able to order a Model T that was delivered in crates and you were expected to assemble.

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 Oh, hell no.

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In the early 19th century, an Englishman named Sir William Congreve invented an unusual clock that kept time using balls rolling down an incline.

 At that time, most clocks kept time through the regular swinging of a pendulum.

The Congreve rolling ball clock consists of a brass plate with a zigzag path carved on it. A small brass ball rolls down the curved track, and when it reaches the end of the track, the ball hits a lever and a spring raises the end of the plate, reversing the tilt of the plate and sending the ball rolling back the other way. The lever also advances the clock hands by the same amount of time the ball takes to run down the tracks. In most designs, this is 15 seconds, but in some larger clocks, it can be as long as one minute.

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 I'm thinking this is the stretch of road where they practice patching roads.

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 Does anyone know if this was in a movie?

If not, it should have been.

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Hahahabannanaha!

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Problem-solving at its finest.

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My walk of shame is going back for a shopping cart after realizing I can't carry 23 items in my arms through the store.

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 PEOPLE UNLIKE YOU AND I

What are the chances?

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 Sometimes I post things just for me.

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Only alcohol can provide us this level of mirth.

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 ????

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Poor fat bastard.

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Train snow plow accidentally buried this poor fella, but luckily the train crew saw the tragedy happen and dug it out.

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An old favorite I still had to watch more than once.

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Why does cooking take like six hours and eating takes three minutes and washing the dishes takes seven days and seven nights.

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 MOVING PICTURES

 Boxing Helena freaked me out in the 80s.

 A movie was about a surgeon who is in love with a girl, amputates her and keeps her in a box.  This is someone’s fantasy? 

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Happy birthday to the brightest Starman.

The artist is Helen Green.

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I notice great cinematography in movies.

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It never really happened, lady. It's a fucking cartoon.

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And lest we forget this oldie...

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 Girls and rope swings

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 They all will do anything to gain more power and there is not a bit of difference between the two parties.

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