WEDNESDAY #3667

One Of My Very Own

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EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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NEWSY BITS

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My wife and I eat supper every night around 7pm. That's when Erin Burnette hosts the news on CNN, and every night we bet a dollar on whether her part will be crooked or straight.

We keep our stashes on the table so the money can exchange hands immediately.

After all these weeks I'm only $2 up. That does not mean I've only won twice. That means I have only won two more times than my wife.
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Goose Bumps

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VISUAL PUN OF THE DAY

409

 SCIENCE STUFF

It was stated that this is an astronaut who spent 197 days on the International Space Station and shows how hard it is to walk on earth again.

The comments on the clip were full of speculation about how weak his muscles had become, but I think his malady has to do with his inner ear.  That's exactly how I tried to walk when I had one of mine removed. In space, the fluid can't really do its job and then returning to gravity the inner ear has to "re-learn" how to do its job.

^1^

 Live and learn.

^2^

Pangaea

There are those who do not believe this is true even though the coastlines of matching continents are made up of similar rocks. We call these people Christian idiots.

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^4^

That is a print ad for an early self-roaming vacuum like a Roomba. The copy for the ad reads "The Future" and they were pretty much dead on.

^5^

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It's so crazy how eggs and bacon come from the same animal and taste and look completely different.

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DEATH AND DYING

I understand young(ish) people wanting to put off death for as long as possible; there is still time for a lot of living. But when you get my age you better come to terms with its certainty or you are going to be living in constant fear.

^7^

Fear is a powerful emotion. Upon learning of this near miss, some folks will worry themselves sick...literally.

Why worry about it? There is nothing you can do.

^8^ 

Maybe every person needs this tattoo as a daily reminder of their inevitable demise. It is, after all, a natural part of every life; not to be feared or understood, but to be accepted.

But there are those who give in to the fear and it becomes their world. Fear becoming the only thing on which they can depend.

^9^

I always run risks when I offer my take on delicate subjects. I just call them like I see them, folks, and try to do as little damage as possible.

 ^10^

I am in awe of this wonderful adventure in which I am allowed to participate.


^11^

I want to live long enough to witness the discovery of life on another moon or planet. I suspect the religious community will find a way to make this fit in with the Bible, but it will be a real stretch and should be hilarious. I don't think they can fall back on the "god works in mysterious ways" lame explanation with something that awesome.

You only get one trip through this playground, so make the best of it. And for your sake, stop being afraid of hell. We now know what is under the ground and it sure as shit ain't hell.

^12^

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If someone cooks for you at least offer to help them clean up.

(Said no husband ever)

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THE PROBLEM WITH INFIDELITY

Why do married couples go apeshit when they learn their spouse fucked someone else? History is full of such goings-on. I don't know one male friend who didn't fuck around on his spouse. I bet Eve would have fucked around on Adam had there being another man nearby. 

^13^

The formula for keeping your spouse faithful isn't locked up in a vault somewhere.

You only have to try and fulfill his or her desires.

^14^

Most men think that the ring is the key to sex on demand.

Nothing could be farther from the truth.

^15^ 

Most men do not fuck around with women that are more attractive than their wives.

Men fuck around with just about any woman who will let them.

^16^

Oh, there are women who bed anyone who shows up...

But most affairs are simply two bored people meeting and both deciding to end the ennui.

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It may be due to one of the spouses having a bit of a kink that they are too embarrassed to discuss with the wife or husband. In an affair you can do anything...literally, and without embarrassment.

 ^18^

So, you catch your spouse being unfaithful. What then?

 Don't freak the fuck out. (S)he simply enjoyed themselves with someone else. What's the big deal?

^19^

Maybe the spurned partner should try it.

 
^20^

But it is patently obvious to me that if a spouse has their needs met in-house, then the chances of wandering decrease.

But the chances never reach zero. A person with the most accommodating spouse will still have eyes that wander. 

^21^

Those words may be uttered dozens of times a day...but you are not, in fact, perfect.

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 Some people just have appetites that one person can't slake.

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Can you imagine explaining this to the mother of your children?

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The story could have ended there, with unfulfilled needs and humiliation.

But it didn't...

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Doctors, lawyers, preachers, teachers, etc all have affairs and they can't all be subhuman.

^27^

It's called a one-night stand for a reason.

You may have done and had done to you things that you never want to talk about again. And that's okay, too.

 ^28^

So if you catch your spouse cheating, cut them some slack. They are only human and their aberrant misbehavior is very human.

^29^

 Indeed.

^30^

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It annoys me how much land is being taken up by dead people.

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THINGS THAT LEFT EVEN ME SOMEWHAT AGAPE

 I am awed by that every time I see it.

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Sweden?

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????

^33^

Man's just trying to make a living...

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It distresses me that most women, even knowing the hazards, have awful situational awareness.

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Being offended does not automatically make you right.

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PEOPLE TRYING TO MASTER SHIT

Entertaining the troops

 ^36^

I feel very fortunate that I took a typing class in high school.

I love to look off and think while I type without looking at the keyboard.
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I used to be a pretty good dancer. Still makes me smile to sway with an oldie.

^38^

Let us never forget the power of one brave man.
And we still don't even know his name.

^39^

Maori Battalion doing the Haka in North Africa, 1941

Talk about your cultural appropriations. But that's alright, I guess since the white guys were invited.

^40^

Being deployed overseas and reading about our shit show of a government right now.

The lines in a commercial plea for veterans aid:

"I gave my legs to freedom."

"I would do it again."

The US has a habit of expending many lives then just walking away...think Vietnam. Now we have left Syria, handing it over to our enemies. Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think Syria or Iraq or Afghanistan is any of our business and we should have never gotten involved. But that's not the point. The point is, what does the mother's of slain son's say now?

^41^

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Fact: DJs who work at radio stations playing Christmas music for two months are not allowed to wear belts or shoelaces.

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FUN WITH LANGUAGE...whatever

 ^42^

^43^

 Okay.

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^45^

 How very profound.

^46^

 Written on the back of his jersey. Knowing he has to verbally spell out his name every single time.

^47^

 ^48^

 ^49^

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Some of us just fake it better than others.
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